1. Products that work for other people may not work for you – everyone’s skin is different
Learning to read (or learning how to have my computer read) cosmetic ingredient labels was one of the biggest game changers for my skin. Before this, I was buying whatever had nice packaging at Sephora or I was seeing as I scrolled my for you page. For some people, this strategy may work. For me, someone with extremely sensitive and acne-prone skin, it did not. Because I didn’t understand what I was putting on my skin, I couldn’t identify which product(s) were making it worse, and which were making it better. Each time I saw a new ad or a new clinical-study backed product, I immediately hit “add to cart.” Looking back at the amount of money (and products) I wasted during this time by trying everything except learning what worked for my skin still makes me cringe. When I began learning to read ingredients and avoid comedogenic ingredients, irritants, and fragrances, I stripped back my skincare to the basics. Instead of doing research on what worked for everyone else, I started my own research on what worked for me. I added products one at a time so I could see their effect, and I paid attention to whether they made my skin too dry, caused breakouts, or increased inflammation. Through this, I was able to develop a skincare and makeup routine that worked for my skin, not against it.
2. Drying your skin out won’t make it clear faster
When my dermatologist kept giving me products to “dry my skin out,” despite the fact that it was already irritated and flaking, I hit my limit. He had me using salicylic acid twice a day AND a retinol every night. It got to the point that my skin was constantly in pain (which is just not normal). I decided I needed to do something different, and I had quite honestly lost faith in finding help from other people. I never felt like I was being listened to, and I wasn’t looking for a band aid solution. So, I started doing my own research. I learned about the skin barrier and the gut-skin connection, and I began to implement small but effective changes in my skincare and lifestyle routines. As I stopped using the products that were making me painfully dry and instead focused on barrier-supporting, hydrating, and anti-inflammatory ingredients, my skin started to clear (and maybe more importantly it was no longer painful to go through my day and routine). To be clear I’m not saying “drying” ingredients like acids and retinols are bad – I use them multiple times a week now. I’m just saying that you need to listen to your skin and ensure that you’re balancing your active ingredients with barrier and skin-supporting ingredients.
3. No one is noticing your skin as much as you are
As soon as I woke up in the morning I would rush into my bathroom, flip on the lights, and inspect my skin to see if there were any new breakouts. The answer to that would set the tone for the day – would I stay in my apartment to avoid being seen? Would I risk working out and sweat making it worse? Could I cover it up enough to feel better? It was a vicious cycle, and it made me miserable. Each day I was so preoccupied with my skin and what may impact it (the foods I was eating, the skincare I was using, the stress I was facing), that I genuinely stopped enjoying my life. My self-consciousness made me miss out on countless social events, cancel dates, and spend an excessive amount of time in my apartment. Looking back, these are all things I regret. It’s just skin. Isolating myself only took a greater toll on my confidence. And while I was thinking about my skin 24/7, I can now recognize that no one else was. Even if they noticed my breakouts, after that initial moment I was the only one still thinking about it. Live your life, even if you’re breaking out, even if you’re feeling insecure. Trust me, it makes a difference.